Adam scored 151 points this week, took down Joey, and reclaimed the #1 spot in the Power Rankings heading into Week TEN. The Evil Hoodie is back on top. CeeDee Lamb is good. His Broncos also beat my Panthers, so that was fun. (It was very much not fun.)
Joey… which ancient evil deity did you make angry? Because somehow, you have the most points scored in the league AND the most points scored against you. That’s an absolutely ridiculous combination. The actual statistical odds of that happening are roughly 8%. Eight percent! 2026 Joey may officially be the unluckiest owner in league history. The math checks out. Unfortunately, the math doesn’t award fantasy points for suffering. Joey drops to 4th this week in the Power Rankings.
The biggest riser this week is Corey. Team Three Trophies jumped three spots in the rankings after putting up a monster 163-point performance. And I’m just going to say it: he may actually have the best team in the league right now. (ALSO, KEEP MY TEAM’S NAME OUT YOUR FUCCING MOUTH!!!!)
I’m fine. Everything is fine.
The biggest losers this week are Austin and Murkve, who both dropped two spots after tough losses. Sometimes the rankings giveth, and sometimes the rankings taketh away. This week, they taketh.
Jensen climbed to 8th place after a solid win this week. Also, the Dawgs are good! BARK BARK WOOF WOOF!
Everyone else is pretty much where they were last week. There’s not a ton of movement in the middle of the Power Rankings, which means some teams are holding steady while others are apparently waiting for the universe to do something interesting.
And speaking of interesting…
THE PLAYOFF PICTURE
There are FIVE weeks left in the regular season. That means, technically, NO ONE has been eliminated from playoff contention. Everyone still has a shot! Some shots are considerably longer than others, but hey, that’s why we play the games.
For a couple of teams, though, the sun is getting pretty low.
Let’s start with Kyle and Chris. You guys are in hell. The good news is that hell goes by another name, and it’s the MDF Division.
I’m currently “winning” that division with four wins, which should tell you everything you need to know about the current state of affairs down there. My team isn’t exactly setting the world on fire (STFU COREY), but somebody has to sit on the throne of hell. And if I slip up, either Kyle or Chris could find themselves wearing the crown. There’s still time for a miracle! Maybe! (Chris, play!!!!)
Jensen is in an interesting spot. At 3-6, he isn’t technically in hell… but he can certainly see the flames from where he’s standing. He’s in Adam’s division and currently sits four games behind him. That’s a pretty steep hill to climb, but he still has at least one divisional matchup remaining against both teams in his division. Win those games, and suddenly things get a whole lot more interesting. The door isn’t closed yet.
As for everyone else? You’re still within a game or two of the playoffs. Five weeks is plenty of time for someone to go on a run, completely implode, or make a series of questionable lineup decisions that will haunt them for the rest of the season.
The Hoodie may be back on top, but there’s a lot of football left to play. The rest of the Power Rankings are below!
