*AI Prompt = Depression because nothing matters
Look. Last week I used this column as a place to beg for someone to finally beat Scott so I wouldn’t have to write words about his team this week. We needed a hero and someone stepped up. M U R K.
Hawk Tua beat Scott’s team 145 to 102. Murkve stepped up and smacked Scotts team back to earth saving us from the horror of having Scott ranked #1 again. Right?
No.
Scott is still ranked #1. Him and Murkve are the only two teams with 4 wins and the algorithm is impressed with Scotts consistent points output over the first five weeks of the year. Turns out that sometimes even when the bad guy loses he still wins. #FreeMarket #NothingMatters
Meanwhile, Corey keeps scoring the most points every week and it’s very annoying. If you didn’t know, Corey refuses to be a good person and get Venmo (which is the preferred method by which the League Office awards payment). Every time he wins a week the League Office has to go through an annoying process to move the funds around so he can get it in stupid Cash App. We hate this and you should to. BOOOOOO COREY. (He’s also ranked #3 this week).
Finally, I’d like to point out The Boogie Division. All three teams in this division are sitting at 3-2 and have gotten most (if not all) of their divisional matchups out of the way in the first five weeks. I guess we have a divison of death and I for one am super glad to be a part of it. (DEPRESSION)
The rest of the Power Rankings are below:
The MCATL (And Friends) Fantasy Football League 