On a Friday night a couple of weeks ago Lucy and I were eating dinner with some “friends”. Lucy would say friends because the couple we were eating with are the executive pastors of our church. I would call them… acquaintances. It’s a weird thing, being a pastor’s husband. My wife’s life is involved with our church because she works there, while I simply attend (or actually barely attend since COVID started). So her bosses invite us over for dinner to “hang out” and I don’t want to go. Not because I think they are weird people, but just because I don’t really hang out with pastors in my free time anymore. I didn’t want to be out of the loop on the “Do you remember what Rob said during the staff meeting?!? LOL” jokes, or hear all the exciting new developments with small groups.
The dinner for the most part was okay, as I sat back and pretended to be involved in the small talk about church operations, attendance, plans, etc. I wondered to myself how different my life is now than it was 4 years ago. Here I am sitting with people who are simply put “Professional Christians”, something I used to be and do very well, and I felt myself feeling a little lost and confused.
“Adam, do you ever think you will be back in full-time ministry again?” I blinked twice as I looked at our executive pastor trying to come back to reality and trace in my mind quickly how the conversation I was so easily ignoring had come swung back this direction to put me in the spotlight.
I blink twice again.
“No.” Is my answer. Short. Simple. Easy.
“Well not anytime soon,” I say quickly to regain some composure because my answer embarrassed me. “You see I am not really in the sort of spiritual state to lead anyone I don’t think. I hardly ever pray like I did, I haven’t read my Bible for personal reasons in longer than I care to admit, and I drink a little too much and vape.” It all just came out, like on my call with the AG and subsequent diatribe in the group chat. The pastor said something I cannot remember and the conversation turned to other things. The night ended early, as most nights do with kids involved and we drove home.
On the drive home I wondered about my answer, and as I got to wondering more I decided that I do believe I am not supposed to be in full time ministry right now, but I realized that something was wrong with my reason. You see all my life growing up, and all my time in ministry, I was taught to measure my own spiritual success on (what the business world would call) Key Performance Indicators (KPI). Since most of us have similar backgrounds, these will all ring a bell. For you to be a good christian, or a good church leader, you must:
1) Read your Bible
2) Pray
3) Attend church functions
4) Engage in public worship
There are other christian KPI for sure, but I think these are the major 4. Think about our time in MCATL/ALC. It was basically a boot camp for these very things, and our engagement in these activities let us know where we stood with our peers, the leadership of the school, the church, and ultimately God.
During my wonderings I felt conflicted, because even though I don’t really do those things, either at all or as frequently as I used to, I honestly feel like a better Christ follower now than I did when I was in full time ministry. Over the past four years outside of ministry my regular christian KPI’s have fallen off a cliff. However now I am more humble, compassionate, ready to lend a helping hand, and empathetic than ever. I am available and give my attention and focus to people that are hurting, grieving, or needing help. In short, I decided on that car ride home that my christian KPI’s need to change. I need to evaluate my spiritual walk through a new lens, not the one I grew up with.
Adams New Christian KPI’s:
- The ability to be available and present with people who are hurting.
- Focusing my attention on grieving and rejoicing with people.
- Modeling honesty, brokenness, and a need for God in my life.
- Sacrificing my time, energy and effort to be there for people.
What in the HELL does this have to do with Fantasy Football? I’m glad you asked. You see my own spiritual introspection has caused me to evaluate what I use as Key Performance Indicators for fantasy football.
You see, I lost last year, if you don’t remember. And now with the punishment….I really don’t want to lose again. After seeing the punishment lived out in real time, I doubt any of you “don’t care” about losing either. I mean, Kyle could actually die doing this. So instead of drafting how I normally do, I basically auto-drafted. I took reliable, proven, top projections. I took Saquan #1 overall when the old Adam would have taken Pat Mahomes because he “really wanted him”. I have Tyler Lockett on my team. There is nothing flashy or super star about Tyler Lockett, but he performs consistently year over year. I had to reevaluate HOW I evaluated fantasy football, and for me it comes down to trusting the professionals, and not so much my gut feeling.
So with the challenge looming, with star players already injured or underperforming after week one, with COVID-19 in the air. How are you evaluating your fantasy football moves? Do you need to reevaluate how you evaluate players, the waiver wire, and who you start/sit? There is plenty (hopefully) of football left, and the moves we make or don’t make over the next months will determine victory or fiery defeat for us all. One thing is certain friends…
The wings are coming for someone…. (Cumming for someone was my stripper name….)
The MCATL (And Friends) Fantasy Football League 